Is Busy A Good Thing - Self Help Tips

"Dan, you've been in the office since early this morning, do you want to go for a walk?"
"Id love to but I'm too busy."

"I've got supper ready. Can you stop for a few minutes to eat with me?"
"Thanks Carol but, I'd better not. I'm too busy."

"Dan, it's 11:30. Are you going to quit for the day and get some rest?"
"I'm busy right now. I'll finish this first."

Busy. Do you use that word?

It seems that many people choose to wear the "busy" word as a badge of honour, as if it indicates productiveness, worthiness, and success.

My perception is that the "busy" word is the curse of the new millennium.

"Busy" is a thought-choice. When we verbalize the thought by saying, "I am busy," it reaffirms the thought, magnifies it in our mind, and proves to us that we are busy. "Busy" creates physiological reactions in our body. Our muscles become tense; we lose focus, become irritable, and may experience anger. "Busy" causes great stress and the result is the common cold, headaches, heartaches, and dis-ease.

Common Cold

Im not talking about the sniffles and coughing. The common cold I refer to is our habitual lack of attention to and compassion toward others we are cold to them. Because we are so "busy," we don't take the time to listen to others. We assume we know what they are thinking, and make judgements based upon our assumptions. The common cold eventually destroys relationships.

Headaches

When we convince ourselves that we are "busy." our head begins to swim with confusion and yes, it may even hurt. We think we have so much to do and not nearly enough time. We attempt to multi-task, which is physically impossible. We can do only one thing at a time. When we choose to be "busy," we bounce back and forth between duties and projects and none of them are completed. Or they are not done well.

Heartaches

"Busy"-ness often leads to neglect, resentment, and apathy toward others, and especially to those closest to us our life-partners, children, family, and friends. We tend to not treat them in a loving, caring way because we are too "busy." They may think you are a pain in the butt. That may be true and hearts ache and are being broken.

Dis-ease

Ease is a state of effortlessness and simplicity. In the state of ease, we experience love, joy, and happiness. "Busy"-ness creates dis-ease (lack of ease), and a state of hard work, struggle, and difficulty. In this state, we experience hurt, anger, fear, and sorrow.

With these things in mind, do you still want to be busy?

As usual, I have a challenge for you, if you choose to accept it. Don't get your shorts in a knot; there are only two things.

1. Give yourself a "busy-ectomy." Eliminate the word "busy" from your vocabulary (mentally and orally). Every time the "busy" thought enters your mind, or you start to say it, stop yourself. Instead say things like, "I've got some great projects on the go" or "I'm really enjoying the challenges in front of me" or "I have ample time to do the things I need to do."

2. Consciously notice the changes in how you feel, think, and act.

If you think you're too "busy" to accept my challenge, change your mind. Just as you chose to be "busy," you can choose another experience. At least notice how often the word "busy" is used by people around you, and be aware of how it affects them. Does it do the same for you?

In the past, I was so "busy" making a living that I didn't take time for a life. Since I eliminated "busy." I am more focussed, at ease, and productive. I find that I have oodles more fun making a living and having a life. I experience great pleasure, joy, and happiness in everything I do. Yup, everything. It is a choice I make.

Trash the "busy" badge, turn up the edges of your mouth, jiggle, chortle, snigger, bellow out a big "yahoo" and have fun!

Copyright 2007

Dan Ohler is Thinkin' Outside The Barn!

Dan writes and speaks internationally on relationships, happiness, and change. Through Dan's insights & humour you learn to apply the basics of human psychology the natural laws that create life-long flourishing relationships, and abounding success

Visit Thinkin' Outside The Barn
for FREE how-you-can-do-it-too articles. You can see Dan in action, or order your copy of "Thinkin' Outside The Barn And Steppin' Into Fresh B.S" while youre there!

Your Thoughts Become Things

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world. " - Buddha

"Thought is as much a thing as the favorite ring you wear on your finger. It has weight, color, shape, size and form. Thought is a dynamic force. It is a force like gravitation, cohesion or repulsion. Thought has tremendous power and can manifest desires. can do anything, it can work wonders. "- Swami Sivananda

"As ye sow, so shall ye reap." - Jesus

"The Kingdom of God is within you" - Jesus

"I and My Father are One"- Jesus

What is the point?

Here we have saints from three different spiritual traditions saying essentially the same thing. What are these saints trying to tell us? They are telling us that our thoughts become things and that with our thoughts we create our reality.

This means that the power we seek is within our own selves; we need not look elsewhere. Every time we think a thought it is a creative event. This is so because at any given time there are an infinite variety of different thoughts that we could choose to think; when you choose to think one, you are taking an active role in the creation of your own reality.

This process happens whether we are conscious of it or not. We basically have no choice in the matter. The only choice lies in whether or not we want to become conscious of what we are doing with our thoughts.

We are creators whether we like it or not.

In Christianity they talk about the fall of man. This is referring to the time when man lost sight of his inherent divine creative abilities. This is when man lost sight of his own godly nature. This is the reason you are here. This is what you came to this earth plane to remember and discover again. You were born to remember and to experience your dominion over the illusion of time and space.

What about destiny and fate?

"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

So if we are creating our reality with our thoughts, then what of fate, destiny, luck, and karma? If we can master our thoughts then these things will come under our control. So how do we do this?

All you have to do is think of what you want and refuse to deviate from that thought. This will set you into motion, stir up the magic, and unleash the full force, power, and majesty of a Universe conspiring on your behalf.

Anything worth having is worth working for.

Do you think living the life you want is worth working for?

It's worth everything you've got. So you must be strong and take action. The progress might be slow at first, but it is like learning any skill, it takes time, practice, and discipline. At first you couldn't ride a bike and you probably fell off quite a few times. This process was very frustrating, but you kept at it. Soon thereafter riding a bike became easier and easier until one day you were able to do it without thinking about it. You just did it.

Being vs. Doing

This example illustrates the state of being vs. doing. When you were first learning to ride your bike you were doing. You mind was involved in analyzing and issuing the commands to tell you how to ride the bike. Your body was full of tension and anxiety because you were learning something new, you were unsure of your abilities, and you were afraid to fall.

This is exactly the same thing that happens when one begins to be aware of their thoughts and live their life as a divine creative being.

At first you are thinking, analyzing and worrying about each little thing that you do. You mess up many times along the way and experience a lot of frustration with minimal rewards. However if you keep at it eventually you gain mastery. Eventually there comes a day when you are you longer thinking about what you should or shouldn't do. Rather you are simply doing it because that is who you are. You are that kind of a being.

Just like eventually you became the kind of being that could easily ride a bike, eventually you become a being that creates the life they desire with their thoughts.

This is the message that these saints are trying to get across. The goal is not to be a person who makes things happen because they think it to be.

The goal is to become the divine, godly, and creative beings that were meant to be.

Read more at http://brandon-gilbert.blogspot.com/.

Brandon Gilbert has been a superfoodist for the last 4 years and has spent that time dedicated himself to learning and sharing all he can about the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. It is his passion and mission to inspire and guide other to their own healing and growth.

Sometimes You Need to Cry

I recall a period in time, at about 18 months after my husband passed away, that I felt pretty good about myself. I had handled what life had thrown me and come out battered, but mostly okay on the other side. After caretaking my husband for almost a year, I was battling some minor health problems of my own, related mostly to stress, but most days I was certain my life was on track. Steady and focused, my three boys were also adjusting and it seemed we all had a grip on reality.

On this day, I was on my way to an appointment with my holistic doctor when the radio began playing a song I had never heard before. The singer's words stirred something inside me. The song spoke of loving someone through the years, and even with that person gone, the threads of memory remained.

The words reverberated through me, and I experienced almost a kind of shock as their meaning sank in. Out of nowhere, I began to cry so hard I had to pull off the road. I had no control over the rush of anguished emotion. All my hard won calm fled, chopped off at the knees as I hugged the steering wheel of my car.

I cried as if a great well had opened inside and pulled my guts out. When I finally began to calm and the tears subsided, I had to wonder where this emotional outburst had come from. How could a song open a wound of such profound loss?

I arrived at my doctor's office, and as usual with holistic doctors, they not only want to know about you physically, but they dig deeper into the emotional aspects of your life. I hesitated only briefly before telling him what had occurred on the way to his office. I felt embarrassed by my earlier semi-breakdown. I tried to explain that I'd been feeling good, and then to suddenly have this upheaval had thrown me for a loop.

He explained it was to be expected there would be days where emotion could still catch me by surprise. With the loss still relatively fresh in my life, how could I expect to be 100%? I admitted to him that I'd been feeling excruciatingly lonely, but I thought I was handling it. Some days my idea of "handling" it meant ignoring or burying my feelings. Always a very private person, I hadn't shared much of my thoughts with anyone. When friends asked how I was doing, I would usually say I was okay. Inside, I kept thinking, who wants to hear that I just want to get through another day?

I felt much better after speaking with him. Not only was he a sympathetic ear, it felt good to open up and share my worries about being alone, my concern for the kids' welfare and fears that I wasn't handling my finances to my best advantage.

We talked extensively about the triggers that stirred my own private misery. Something as straightforward as a song, or as complex as past memories, seemed to have the power to entrench me in great emotion. He made me realize there would be times I merely needed to cry as part of grief's healing process. There was nothing complicated about it. Each time we are brave enough to reach down and allow our true emotions out, it brings a little more healing into our lives. As time passes, and we remain true to ourselves, a new sense of empowerment emerges.

Elaine Williams 2008

Elaine Williams is a writer across various genres. She is a mother and a widow of four years. She can be contacted at onwingspress@yahoo.com - http://www.ajourneywelltaken.com

Making a Difference Through Organic Cleaning Products

Recently, with the advent of environmental awareness that is prevalent in the media through all forms, care for Mother Nature has been gaining grounds as a priority today. I couldn't remember a time in the past where environmental awareness was as active as it is today. Everywhere, you can see all sorts of movies, videos, songs and everything else that talks about being aware of what even the most trivial things humans do, can cause effects on the world that we live in.

So many measures have been suggested and even implemented that aim to make the world we live in a better place for us and for the next generations. Even presidential campaigns incorporate environmental awareness to their platforms and this, I guess, is a strong indication that everyone from whatever nook in the world they may come from should follow suit and begin to start caring for the world.

There are many good examples of doing even simple things that, when done on larger scale and by so many people, can create a great positive impact on the environment. One of these things is the use of organic cleaning products and putting into practice the principles of natural cleaning in general.

Natural cleaning refers to the use of natural cleaning products that help minimize the risk of environmental degradation. Commercial cleaning products available today reek of toxic chemicals that can cause harmful effects to the environment in the long run. That's why, with environmental awareness at its peak, natural cleaning is proving to be a great alternative to switch to.

Using organic cleaning products is the core of natural cleaning. Instead of commercial cleaning products, we should employ cleaning products made from organic materials that are just as effective as those products that contain toxic chemicals. These cleaning products are safe, efficient and are less expensive than those that are manufactured by capitalists. These products contain no harmful chemicals that might ruin the natural flow and balance of nature. They are all natural and go back to nature (like all things do) in a natural way.

Unlike commercial cleaning products which have been synthetically made and may contain chemicals that are either non-biodegradable and do not mix well with the environment, cleaning products made from natural ingredients are completely safe to even use in large doses as they can revert back to their natural form and be reused by nature.

Example of these cleaning products can usually be found in your very own home, right in the comfort of your kitchen. These products include vinegar, washing soda, baking soda, lemon juice, lime juice, lemon and lime peel, among others. These things are common and are most likely bought for other purposes. But they can serve multiple functions, which makes them very cost-efficient.

The products mentioned above are considered the basics - or the basic cleaning products that, when combine well, can be used to makes pastes, sprays and other formulas for other purposes. With these products, you don't have to buy a separate product for a different purpose. All you need to do is a little research and you can create a cleaning product of your own using tested recipes that are available online.

As you can see, these kinds of cleaning products make a very good deal. They can serve so many purposes which make you save a lot more money. They are also safe and do less damage to the balance of nature than commercial cleaning products.

Organic cleaning products are becoming the best alternatives nowadays. Read more articles online if you are still skeptical about natural cleaning products as the new way of cleaning your home in a safe and natural way.

Essential Laws of Fearless Living by Guy Finley - Book Review

I recently read the new book, The Essential Laws of Fearless Living by Guy Finley. Guy says that we have an insatiable desire to be someone in the world. What drives that? The wish for power, he asserts. We think that power will put us above the world of the ordinary. It will move us out of our unremarkable daily lives and into a life of excitement and pleasure. We are running from the fear of being no one. But, as Guy points out . . ."what we resist persists." So by living in fear and discouragement because we are unable to move away from the fear, we are only bringing more of the same feelings! It's a vicious, never-ending circle. We try using power to control and possess others - a really bad idea Guy points out because by trying to control another person, we are, in fact, giving our power over to that person. So not only are we not in control, someone else has control over us! Not exactly what we had in mind. So instead of trying to control others, give to others what we ask from them. That is the secret to receiving what we wish for from others

Most of us automatically resist the unknown. But in order to become fearless, we must practice self-liberation. We live in negative states of self-doubt and fear. But if we realize that these states are voluntary, not mandatory, we can begin to free ourselves from their imprisonment. The more we think negative thoughts, the more we sink into negativity. And the more we live in negativity, the more we react negatively. We must realize that negative reactions make nothing better!

So how do we become fearless? By letting go of those limiting beliefs. And how do we find our limiting beliefs? Through self-reflection and thought. Put a question to ourselves - such as, what do I fear? - and really think about the response. Self-awareness puts us in touch with the higher intelligence that already lives within all of us.

Stop trying to change the world that we see. Instead begin by changing the way we see the world. Work on the inner first and the outer will follow.

Annette Greco is co-owner of a successful home remodeling business, author of The Kitchen Remodeling Cookbook: The Survival Guide to Cooking When Your Kitchen Can't and co-founder of On The Level Consulting. The remodeling business requires a successful combination of sales, marketing, administration and production. It is even more important for the small remodeling company to execute all areas well and in the right combination. Find out how to maximize profits while minimizing time and stress. Sign up for On The Level Consulting's FREE online newsletter to find out how. Visit http://www.onthelevelconsulting.com

Developing Real Psychic Power

In this article I'm going to cover a great tip for developing psychic powers and the magical and mysterious skill of practical clairvoyance. Many of us LONG to tap into the same stream of sensational skills that so many famous psychics, mediums and clairvoyants REGULARLY seem to access, and in my PERSONAL experience, ANYONE can learn how to cultivate these very same skills. So continue reading as I share my top tip for developing psychic powers of your own. Read on..:-)

Timeline Intuition

This is a great tool for learning to "map" your future by simply intuiting the past. It's a bit complex to describe in one short paragraph, but the essential theory is this: Our lives are, for the most part, pre-determined along a series or sequence of possible choices, and their consequential outcomes. Much of this is laid out as part and parcel of your "karma" so to speak, and the choices you make a long the path are fundamentally yours, and yours alone. (which lead to either soul development or regression) By looking back at your past choices, the IMPORTANT ones...you can map out a series of 7-10 important crossroads that you met, and you can track your current state of awareness (or life situation) DIRECTLY from which choice you made at each of those seemingly odd forks.

Future Extrapolation

You then take the very same thought process and apply it to the mapping of FUTURE forks that are upcoming (some schools teach that there are 21 major decisions we will each make in this lifetime) and by doing so, you are able to effectively intuit, or "see" (and feel) a very predictable future. It sounds harder than it is...trust me, it's not only a BLAST to do, it's very accurate, incredibly entertaining, and truly ILLUMINATING as a lens by which to look at your own higher purpose, and how to get there in a hurry! (even if it means BACKTRACKING a bit to get there..:-)

And of course there is SO much more....More that lies possible in YOUR life if you only open yourself up to the possibilities. Simply START by opening your mind, spirit & enhanced AWARENESS and ride the supernatural surfboard into the wild, wacky and wonderful world of the unknown..:-) It WILL rock Your WORLD...I promise..;-)

Who Else Wants to Experience Radical Inner Peace & Magnificent Well Being?

Read on...to discover how to experience almost MAGICAL psychic POWERS blissful meditation and SO much more.......quickly, easily and magically even if you are a complete novice and have no idea what you are doing!

Turning Passions Into Profits - Author Christopher Howard

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "People love chopping wood. In this activity one immediately sees results" and whilst I am not sure that today people love chopping wood, they certainly love seeing immediate results. Think for a moment about the lives of people around you maybe even yourself and see how the need for instantaneous results dominates our cultural psyche. It is all NOW! NOW! NOW! - We have become like a petulant 2 year old, screaming to whomever will listen - "I WANT IT NOW!" (please feel free to insert whatever IT is for you)

That is exactly how I was three years ago when I picked up the book "Turning Passions into Profits" by Christopher Howard. I was excited and motivated reading and re-reading the book, soaking up every word. I decided that I did not want to be a Billionaire and as Chris says 'you can always scale it back'. So I set my sights on achieving the long-term results I wanted and used the tools and strategies as written.

Turning Passions into Profits provides specific techniques for closing the gap between where you are today and where you would like to be. In this book, Christopher Howard teaches powerful, innovative tools for modelling and replicating the ultimate success of some of the World's greatest leaders and billionaires.

Not instantaneous results but instantaneous change cemented in place for MASSIVE results.

With the ability to select and incorporate some of the traits, strategies, thought patterns, and behaviours of those already achieving results, individuals can plot a course and arrive at a chosen destination greater than they ever thought possible.

When I look around at my life right now, it is miraculous! Sure there are still things I am working on but the long-term results I have achieved in nearly every aspect of my life far out shine any IMMEDIATE result I could have wanted for myself. I also have the confidence and assuredness that I created it all and will continue to creating even bigger results in the near future.

"The more you chase the Holy Grail of short term performance, the less you get in long-term results". Walter Calbot.

If you want to create change that will create results you only dreamed possible then Christopher Howard's "Turning Passions Into Profits" must be your next book to read and implement. And you too will have it take prime position on your Book Shelf.

Don Bemrose is Australia's foremost Male Aboriginal Opera Singer. Don realised his childhood dream this year with an inspirational and joyous rendition of the Australian National Anthem at the second 2008 National Rugby League State of Origin match. Don will play a lead role in the World's first Aboriginal Opera Pecan Summer specifically written for him and his lyric baritone voice. http://www.donbemrose.com

Don is General Manager of Performance Results Pty Limited - a national Coaching, Training and Consulting Company utilising his qualifications as an internationally certified Performance Consultant and fully qualified Master Practitioner and Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis & Neurological Repatterning. http://www.performanceresults.com.au

Dr Success - A Discussion on Achieving Your Highest Success and Shifting Sands by Steve Donahue

As a society, we are trained from our earliest years to approach our lives like mountain climbers. From the time we enter school we are supposedly being taught what to pack for life's journey. By our teens, we have often laid out a detailed map and a kit of tools to our life and we are keenly aware of where our life journey is meant to go and where the summit is. Soon after starting that journey, however, we discover that life has its own paths, surprises and unexpected summits and challenges waiting for us.

The author of Shifting Sands, Steve Donahue, builds on an experience from his youth, where he and a friend seized the moment and unexpectedly drove across the Sahara Desert. Steve uses this as a life metaphor for the long journey of crossing an ever-changing desert when we "expect" to be climbing a well-planned mountain. In this book, the author shares that one evening the group had carefully planned their next step in the journey - it was completely laid out, right down to where the hills and sands and markings were. When they awoke the next morning, there had been a sandstorm and everything was different.

This becomes one of the author's core revelations: Use a compass instead of a map. Rather than following someone else's instructions and roadmap to the summit, Donahue encourages his readers to use our own inner compass and intuitive guideposts to plot our path day by day. Life is ever changing, and no amount of maps and markers can really plot our course - and if we think about it, would we even really want that?

One of Donahue's most poignant chapters is, "When You're Stuck, Deflate." When we get stuck in life, we often tend to dig in our heels (or wheels) and just try harder - the old adage, "If at first you don't succeed," ringing in our ears. But in life, like in the desert, sometimes that only bogs us deeper down into the sand. Being hell-bent to follow the map and do something the way we plan, can literally stop us in our tracks. According to Shifting Sands, sometimes we must simply stop, let go, and shift with the changing scene around us. The question thus becomes: How do I let go of my ideas and my ego and move forward?

As an executive mentor, my role is to uncover why we allow ourselves to get stuck and what we do to shift and rethink our direction and our summits. We know through positive psychology that as human beings we are sometimes stopped by our own experiences and comfort level over and over. Our ego will use this as a benchmark to allow us to feel "accomplished." We are thus compelled to repeat only what we know. By using an inner compass, you can use your own "True North" to overtake that mental goalpost and begin to create a different journey and conquer summits higher than we might have ever dreamed to set. As human beings, we like to assume we "know" how things will turn out and what steps we need to take to get there. We are gratefully reminded in Shifting Sands: A Guidebook for Crossing the Deserts of Change, that each life is an uncharted adventure to be joyously relished.

Dr. Success (aka Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D.)
http://www.ServingSuccess.com
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
(702) 243-4040

Getting it Going

You are to be congratulated for going the extra mile, even though you are enlightened enough to know that the interest you receive, leveraged back, compounded back, pays you in spades.

And so here is another idea we like to think about, it's about "getting started", it's about "some is always better than none". It's about once you take a step forward then you'll be in a different place and you'll have a different view, you'll see different things, different opportunities, and different ways to advance.

I'm talking about some people make splendid plans and they go to seminars for years trying to figure out how to, for instance, put up an internet business... How to trade stocks or options... How to buy nothing down real estate... Or how to become a wealth coach. And then they've got so many excuses saying, for instance, the technology's become too difficult, or "I'm not wealthy myself, how can I teach other people to be wealthy?"

And then others attend a single seminar, start by reading/taking a single course.

Start, not getting it right, but getting it going.

One thing for sure... If you want an excuse, you got it.

Excuses are easy. But do they move you toward your goal?

I'd like to share with you a story about the very first book (manual, to be more exact) I ever published. I wrote it, advertised it, got orders, and shipped it. Then I got it back from about three or four different people, all written over and scribbled in red. Seems I had a lot of spelling and grammatical errors in the work.

That was the humble beginning, that first product I ever sold in the beginning of business that would turn into multi-millions of dollars. It was just a $97 sell of an imperfect product, but it got the chain of events in motion that would make me millions.

Imperfectly done, but DONE, that's the thing. You can try and get it perfect, but if that keeps you from getting it out the door, there's no point. Some is always better than none. Getting going is the most crucial step you'll ever take.

Hey, talk about red ink!... Those people who were sending me that product back marked in red, those were corrections they were giving me! This was great, because I entered them into the computer, and the next time I printed the book out to sell it, it was better!... Those were improvements! I quit getting those nasty correction letters.

It went upwards on from there. The message is: don't let the perfection bug bite you. You can't afford it. The most important thing you could ever do in any venture is get going. That's how you'll go to a new place, experience a new view, take new actions. That's how you'll get feedback. That's how you'll know if it's making money, if it's adequate for the market, and a thousand and one other discoveries that you can't imagine grandstanding or preparing.

Get out there and play. That's how you make money!

Ted Ciuba, "living legend" and bestselling author of The NEW Think and Grow Rich, Ted Ciuba is one of the world's top human potential trainers. He helps people find, define, and actualize their passions to transmute their intangible desires into real money. To find out more about Ciuba, how he can help you, and to collect $297 worth of free gifts visit http://www.HoloMagic.com

Publishers and website owners - You may freely use and publish this article as long as you publish it in its entirety, including the resource box.

The Truth About Jealousy

This article will not take up too much of your time, but will be very helpful in your daily life. What you are going to read is important in regards to the very controlling and confusing issue that so many women are challenged with every day, for some every single minute of their day. In this particular part of the jealousy series, you will learn what jealousy feels like and just how serious and captivating an emotion it can be. The next article will talk more about dealing with jealousy and how one can actually get control of it.

In the next few minutes you will learn what and how a woman feels when she is stuck in this very real and controlling jealous emotion.

It has been proven that many women are not even able to identify this confusion of thoughts that they are suffering from. A very big part of healing and winning these battles of jealousy is in identifying your enemy. In this situation the enemy is the jealous emotion that results from a much deeper issue that may or may not be obvious to its victim. You will hear more about that in a bit.

Through research and in speaking with many women every day through the womensselfesteem.com, jealousy seems to be a very big issue that has them in such a downward spiral that they cannot find a way to get hold of it.

One of the main causes for this negative emotion, "jealousy" stems from a time in a persons life when an emotional wound is created, which severely attacks their safe world or in other words their feelings of inner securities. These insecurities will seriously affect a woman's self-esteem, which will in turn result in feelings of low self-worth, lack of a self-respect, and mistrust. These emotional wounds can be caused from several types of abuse or trauma such as, physical, psychological or an over-restrictive/dominated childhood. If a child is sexually abused, then that child's security is threatened through the fact that she trusted the abuser and almost always grows up feeling that they were at fault for the abuse. This also rings true in an adult life, especially if the victim truly trusts and sees her abuser as almost," God" like. When a child is psychologically abused, they usually live a life of demeaning name calling or belittling, again this does happen to adults in a trusting relationship. The over-restrictive or dominating upbringing begins at an early childhood and then follows through into adulthood. Each and every one of these abuses that you have just have just heard about are definite cuts that eventually turn into deep emotional wounds.

These wounds will send a person into a prison, a prison of fear and weakness that they will carry throughout their lives if they do not learn to identify them and deal with them and strengthen their inner self. So many women search for answers to solve this scrambled up problem that they can feel inside of themselves, always coming up with a 0. They tend to look outside of themselves and that is the mistake that they are making. So many jealousy issues come from within.

The human brain is set up of two minds, which allows two ways of thinking, one being positive and one being negative. Unfortunately if a person is somehow mistreated or loses a trust as you have heard about earlier through my thoughts, at any time in their lives, it tends to weaken their ability to maintain a balance between the two. This is when they will fall prey to certain triggers that will ignite the fuse that leads to jealousy. You may be wondering what triggers are, they can be anything from a memory of your past, a smell, a persons laughter, a picture, another women, a feeling of being left alone, or even a look from a partner. There are many different types of triggers that will set off negative emotions. In this series of articles you will learn about relationship triggers and how they set off your jealous emotions.

Negative relationship triggers are definite causes, which happen when a relationship fails due to mistrust issues caused by infidelities or pornography addictions by a present or past partner, and are left unresolved, which unfortunately will follow them into every relationship, if she does not stop and take hold of her issues.

Jealousy is not just a word that can be ignored or excused. It is a word to be feared because it is fear that creates this negative feeling. Have you ever noticed how jealousy changes your relationship from happy to devastate in just seconds? It will feel like something that you would not wish on your worst enemy.

The negative emotions that are hidden behind this word jealousy will tear your trust apart letter by letter, and rearrange it until it spells deception, betrayal, even hate. Theses words will turn you into a paranoid living creature, hiding from reality. Reality is truly jealousy's enemy. It avoids its enemy as quickly as it replaces the positive thoughts that you once had in its place. It is strong enough to take control of your mind and direct it into thinking that someone you dearly trust and love has turned into another being, a being that is cheating on you, lusting for another, watching pornography behind your back, lying to you when you ask a direct question, twisting everything you say so that you come out looking like you are delirious and they will laugh at you when you cry out for help. It will tear your guts apart until you feel like you are going to vomit and it will make your head swirl with uncertainty. Jealousy can speed up your breathing quicker than a exercise machine, which in turn will send your heart racing into turmoil. It is a total body trauma. It can make your body break out into a sweat so fast that it will make rain look slow. If you have ever had even one minute of these threatening feelings, you know exactly what I am trying to explain here.

This negative emotion will make your mind fear abandonment, ones biggest fear in a relationship are to be replaced or abandoned. This fear alone is a very strong trigger of jealousy. This fear will imprison you and force you to suffocate or guard what's yours, until that person can no longer be a victim to your jealousy. It will drive you to feel a deep need to control another's thoughts and actions. To allow jealousy in your mind to the point of this kind of control, is to fall victim to an," attachment prison" or an addiction. In this attachment prison you are the weaker element of the partnership or relationship, your need to feel attached will ruin your sense of security and your self-esteem. A very good example of an attachment prison is when you fear with all of your senses to let your partner out of your site, not even to go to the corner store or to work for fear he may see someone that you would deem as a total threat.

Jealousy is like a drug. Once it gets into your veins, you are no longer coherent or independent in your thinking. You have now just become a dependent thinker, dependent on jealousy and its power. To have such a need is also equivalent to an addict needing a drug. Your addiction is your jealousy, your high is the adrenalin that your body creates through its fears, only this is not positive adrenalin; it is a pure negative adrenalin rush. The only antidote to combat this addiction is through positive steps that will strengthen your ability to take back your control and find a freedom from that attachment prison.

Jealousy will not rest until through you, it has created a frustrating and unbearable environment that puts you in the position in your relationship as your own worst enemy. In effect you become the attacker that you have been trying to run from. You are now jealousy! You are the cause of this turmoil that is being thrown to your outside world; an outside world that cannot possibly feel your pain; nor can they help you escape it. But they will look down on you in their confusion. You are all alone in this prison. You are the only one that can feel this pain, the only one that feels this need to control and hide from the world. You will find yourself being driven by negative thoughts every turn you make.

Have you ever been on a negative thought rollercoaster? If you ever have, you will understand what I mean when I say negative thoughts; negative thoughts that will not let you think rationally. If anything, they will work very hard at confusing your positive thinking. You will spend countless hours talking to yourself trying to get out of insecure feelings and you will end up right back feeling the same negative control that jealousy has over you.

Jealousy will rob you of sleep hour after hour. When your mind cannot sleep, it becomes weak and that is exactly what strengthens the negative thoughts that will feed jealousy and keep it controlling you. These thoughts will turn over in your head until they are locked into a place of negative non realities. This is when you begin to believe in things which seem surreal. An example of this non reality is, let's say, you're walking past your partner as he is watching television. A commercial is on. There is a young scantily dressed woman on the commercial. Your immediate reaction is fear. You fear that at that very minute he is lusting her or worse, wishing you were her. As I said non- real negative thoughts = jealousy.

This negative emotion is extremely careful to not allow your self-esteem to strengthen. It will turn your thoughts into a comparison mode instantly when it feels threatened. When it can put your mind into doubt of it's worth, it has total control. It will continue to control and force thoughts of being undeserving, not worthy, unintelligent, boring, self-less, non-appealing, even just plain ugly. It is a true negative powerful and destructive emotion that will not only control your thoughts but will also alter your desire to love. It will make you hide in safe, loveless corners and never allow another person into your heart. To allow a person into your heart would mean that you would be putting yourself at risk of falling victim to jealousy and all the horror that it creates and feeds on. So, you at this stage begin to set up protective walls, separating you from ever being hurt, but also putting a wedge in between you and your partner. Your choice, if you choose to stay in negative thinking, is to live a life alone.

When you have allowed it to weaken your thoughts to the point of delusional thinking, your mind will only see what will feed this negative emotion. All of your rational characteristics will be taken over by irrational thoughts and reactions. Everything that you thought you could control is now uncontrollable. Nothing is what it seems, while this jealousy emotion has you imprisoned behind its bars of negative and low self-worth thoughts.

I truly believe that being controlled by jealousy is similar to being in captivity. Your mind will get so conformed to that space that you're allowing, that you will learn to depend on it. You will feel safe only in that space. All of your knowledge of what's outside of that captive space has been hidden away into a very dark deep place in your mind. It is all you feel that you can control, not even realizing how little control you do have; again equivalent to an addiction.

What captivity and jealousy have in common is that once you allow your mind to be controlled or captivated by the overpowering emotion: jealousy, your mind will react as it would in a captive situation. Both jealousy and captivity hold your mind and reshape it to conform to its negative demands. A person in captivity eventually starts to depend on the person that's holding them captive. You start to depend on the feelings that you're getting from being captive by your jealous emotion. Jealousy becomes you, and you become jealousy. Together the duo team that you have allowed to control your thoughts will now destroy anything that is real. You will now live together in an unreal negative world of deception.

You will live and breathe the feelings of fear, worry and deception. You will not rest one single minute. Your mind will constantly be filled with disorder and accusations and," what ifs". At this point your ability to trust and feel secure with your partner will no longer be available to your mind, to your negative mind that is; the negative mind that you have allowed to take place of your once positive mind. Your innate desire to protect you and your reason for being are now at risk in your mind. You need to control everything and everything about your partner, right down to his every move. You need to take ownership in order to feel safe. With this control, then and only then can you feel safe from jealousy? Again the," attachment prison" takes over. This prison created by jealousy to keep you in its power and control. You're first breathing thoughts are livelihood and your future are based on attachment and acceptance. To lose that would be like dying a very slow death. Under the control of jealousy and its attachment prison you will fight to survive at any cost. You will be on guard even in your sleep, to notice even the simplest sign of abandonment or loss. Hence, the sleepless nights, haunted by the enemy: jealousy, captivated by the attachment prison again.

This is what you already know of jealousy. It is not fun. It is not a happy place. It is however very destructive and it will destroy your life if you continue to allow it to control your thoughts. As I mentioned earlier in this article, your mind has two sides, one being negative and one being positive. You have the ability to choose.

I have brought this part of the jealousy series to you because of how important it is to identify with the truth of jealousy. It is as real as you are sitting there listening to this. There is a way out and a way to free your mind of this prison of negative thoughts. Through my next article on "The Truth of Jealousy", you will learn steps and strategies that will help to strengthen your mind so that you may win the battle of negative thinking.

dorothyl@womensselfesteem.com

How the Universe Will Make You Rich

If you are an avid watcher or listener of motivational products like DVD, Podcasts or Life Coaching then you may have heard of The Law of Attraction. This is a concept that has been around since the beginning of the twentieth century and has been debated and discussed in many texts throughout the last 100 years.

Very basically, the concept is based around the following four steps;

1. Know what you want.

2. Ask the universe for it.

3. Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way.

4. Be open to receiving it.

Should we be considering this concept or is it merely just another collection of new-age philosophy that is designed to encourage a wave of positive thinking? Let us discuss what the Law is, whether it is real and how we can use the concept to help our personal development.

It is easy to view the Law of Attraction as the easy route. Just think of what you want and it will happen for you. The obvious response is to think to yourself that there is nothing to worry about because success will just come to you. But this is not the concepts purpose, as you will have to actually do something for it to work. But you can activate it by amending your thinking to begin the process towards success and growth.

Have you ever thought about someone and the telephone rings and it is them? I think we have all had this at least once or twice. If this happened once to a friend or family member, we could think how amazing that is and it is a co-incidence. But to happen to many people has to make us stop and think. The philosophy is that what we think about will happen to us, whether it is good or bad. Therefore it is sensible to make our thoughts pure and totally focused on what we want to achieve. The Law of Attraction says that when we think about something the Universe will help make it happen. Noel Edmonds a popular U.K television presenter wrote down that he wanted a new T.V. show after having success in the 1990's with Noels House Party. He has said in many interviews that without the Universes help he would not be enjoying the success of Deal or No Deal or Noels Christmas Presents, which are his latest two successful shows.

Look at your current lifestyle critically. Lots of people have the goal of getting up, going to work, getting home as quickly as possible and then watching T.V. The universe makes this happen and they tend to achieve this quite well! But the law does not care what we want, it merely provides it blindly. So it is very important that you empower yourself to implementing some change and take control of your earning power and future. It does not necessarily need to be a business or even making money, but follow your goals with complete focus and the law will do the rest.

The law is based on what the power of positive thought can achieve. The fact you are here reading this article suggests you have an awareness of this and can relate to it, even if it at present observing others is the only tangible evidence. Everyone who has a rags to riches story is testament to the power of positive thought. In 1937 Napoleon Hill published his book Think and Grow Rich which became one of the best selling books of all time selling over 60 million copies. He discusses the importance of controlling your own thoughts in order to achieve success, as well as the energy that thoughts have and their ability to attract other thoughts and therefore opportunities.Can youwork out what Hills great secret of the book holds? He said it is better if you work it out for yourself, and it is widely believe the Law of Attraction is the big secret he alludes to throughout the book.

Scientists are critical of the law because they cannot measure it. The word law implies a set of rules, so when the only way we can measure the success of the law is through occurrences which could easily be looked on as luck we are obviously open to criticism when believing in things like this. Another very obvious criticism is that if merely thought produced positive results then why poverty, famine and death in third world and other suffering countries?

Readers are encouraged to watch The Secret (2006 which focuses on the Law of Attraction. This can be found on amazon. This gained so much exposure that Oprah Winfrey dedicated two shows to the concept, and Larry King also had a lengthy discussion on the subject.

My personal take on the idea is that it enforces things I already hold close to me. Positive thinking never hurts, but to think negatively or not at all means you can never reach your potential. If you decline to learn how to ride a bike do not expect to be able to cycle. So do not be one of these people who sits back and shouts that life is not kind to them, stand up and force life to consider you as a potential success.

Whether or not you are helped by the Universe in reaching your goals, a lot of your assistance will come from within. The dogged determination to let nothing stand in your way will break as many barriers and obstacles as any law can. If the law does exist, then combining your own positive attitude with the universes help will make you unstoppable.

Malcolm Clarke is a self-help and personal success writer.

He maintains his success website that offers articles, podcasts and products.

Visit http://www.itsawinner.co.uk today.

Higher Self

Sometimes you might allow your emotional input to dictate your choices, which could be an indication that you are acting compulsively. The best way to make a distinction between intellect and emotion is to engage with your higher self to hear the wisdom of your spirit.

Your higher self (a.k.a. subconscious or collective unconscious) is connected to the universe, and also has access to your thoughts and feelings. Consider your higher self (subconscious/collective unconscious) as having a helicopter view of your actions, reactions and goings on in your life. It has the ability to weigh all the factors from a neutral place of peace. Even before a sudden impulse can be triggered, you can go within the space of your higher self by taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly-quieting your mind-to access the wisdom within. Meditation or yoga are also highly effective in helping to connect with the higher self.

When you practice connecting to the wisdom within regularly, you will learn to discern quickly which voice is advising you. When you notice it is the ego mind or an emotional aspect, you can stop it in mid-stream.

To learn which aspect is in control you can look back to learn from previous choices and recall what your inner guidance was advising you-albeit you might not have followed it. You will learn when you have listened and when you have gone against its direction, and this information is helpful for your learning and growth. Every choice you make is an opportunity to learn about life and about yourself as you co-create with the universe.

There is no right or wrong, only choices that take you closer or farther away from your goals. Growth is a process of trial and error; experimentation. The 'failed' experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately 'works.'

When you use your higher self you know you have your best interest at heart, you can listen and trust you will be on the right track. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life." Dr. Dorothy has the unique gift of connecting people with a broad range of profound principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's daily thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net

Are Your Goals Worth the Effort?

When you set a goal, it is critical to assess whether the outcome will be worth your time and effort to achieve it. If the benefit is not at least equal to what you put in, then you can say bye-bye to keeping up your motivation levels. If your motivation is low, then it is unlikely that you will achieve your goal.

Here is a rather extreme example. If you wanted a bar of chocolate, but the nearest shop was 10 miles away, it is doubtful that you would walk that distance to get it. Although the cravings may be very strong, and you really wanted the chocolate, the amount of time and energy required clearly outweighs the benefits.

How do you assess whether a particular goal is worth your time and effort? The simplest and most effective way is to list the inputs (time and energy) compared to the outputs (achieving the goal).

It is always so much more effective when you write everything down. Draw the map first, and then follow it!

Let's take an example of a popular goal. Say you want to stop smoking.

Firstly, write down your goal. "I will stop smoking cigarettes on the 15^th of next month".

On a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle. At the top of the first column, write down "INPUT". This is where you list what you need to do to achieve that goal.

At the top of the second, write down "OUTPUT". This is where you will list the benefits of achieving that goal.

In the INPUT column, write down the actions that you will need to stop smoking. This may include "Do not buy cigarettes" and "Chew a piece of gum when I would normally have a cigarette". Stick to the facts - write down the actual actions that you need to carry out.

In the OUPUT column, write down all of the benefits associated with you being a non-smoker. "I will have more money", "I will be fitter" and "I will have more energy". Brainstorm here - there are loads of benefits!

Next, review the entries that you wrote in the INPUT column. Assess the amount of time and effort that each action will involve.

For instance, the first statement was "Do not buy cigarettes". It is logical to assume that buying cigarettes would take time and effort (getting to the shop, carrying out the purchase, and returning home). It follows therefore that if you didn't buy cigarettes, then no time or effort would be needed.
"Chew a piece of gum when I would normally have a cigarette" would take no more time or effort than having a cigarette. Indeed, it would arguably involve less physical effort.

Once you have written down a number of Inputs, consider the amount of actual time and effort that would be needed for each. In the example above, there really is no physical effort or time involved. When you compare these with the tremendous benefits that you will derive from stopping smoking, it would be extremely difficult to argue that the amount of time and effort exceeded the benefits!

This exercise can be carried out with any goal you choose. Here are the steps again.

Write your goal down on paper.

List the Inputs and Outputs.

Assess the amount of time and effort needed against the benefits.

You will then be in a much better position to keep yourself motivated and to achieve your goals.

To continuing your success!

Jan specializes in encouraging people to "Make Positive Changes Now" in several aspects of their lives including career change, personal development, and combating addictions.

She is currently developing a number of CDs and DVDs to motivate and encourage people to make positive and worthwhile changes in their lives.

Visit Jan's web site at http://www.powerpositivenow.com

Applying Programming to Life

I never knew I would be doing so much programming professionally. I grew up wanting to be an artist. Drawing was my thing; I drew a lot and loved doing it. I loved Disney cartoons and comic book superheroes. I didn't care about the great European painters. My parents would always say that artists didn't make any money and that I'd starve to death as an artist. I was way too young to care much about money so that didn't mean anything to me.

Life progressed and I basically fell into programming. I only learned how to code to make games--I also only drew because I wanted to make comic books and cartoons. I don't really do much programming outside of work these days and drawing has fell completely off the radar. I'm mostly engaged in politics, economics, money, and business now. But, I have been programming for a good many years professionally and on my own and there are a few incredible parallels to life that I've discovered.

You Don't Need to Know How

This is the single most important idea from programming that applies to life. You don't need to know how you'll get something done, you just need to believe you can do it. Very often when I am making a game, I have no idea how I am going to implement a feature. Either because I've never done it before or I've never heard of or seen anyone else do it. The latter is highly unlikely as I don't really do cutting edge stuff. The former is quite common. I consider this part of my job rather exciting--some people would have heart attacks. I'm not a veteran at making games and I never went to school for games or programming--my degree is in Marketing but, I can code.

In all the programming I've done, be it for a game or an application, there has been no feature that I've not been able to implement. It has very little to do with how good I am--I don't think I'm that good. Once you believe you can, your mind has this incredible power to find the means to get it done. I strongly believe that this is also true in life. Don't worry about how you'll reach a goal and absolutely don't think that you cannot. Just believe you can and as if by magic, you'll find a way to do it. There are a multitude of things in life that I've managed to accomplish without knowing how. I mean, I'm making games for a living. It had been a dream of mine to do that and like most dreams, it seemed far-off and almost impossible. I didn't know how I was going to do it and I didn't question it--after all, I was just a kid. I set the objective, believed it would come to be, and set forth towards it.

I know that this blind faith is ludicrous to some people. There isn't any other way for me to explain it. I know it works since I use it all the time. Of course, it doesn't mean things will all happen smoothly with no bumps along the way. To compare it to programming again, I'm often stuck for hours or days trying to figure out how to do something. It gets frustrating and almost impossible but, I keep at it trying different ways and thinking differently and then I find the answer. Always.

The problem lies more in the fact that we are more likely to give up on our own life objectives than on finding a solution at work. Think about it, I'm sure you have managed to solve a seemingly impossible problem at work by simply believing you can or because there was no other alternative; your boss wanted it done. We don't have a boss to make sure we reach our life objectives and so it is easy to put it on hold or just give up on it. So remember: you don't need to know how, you just need to know you can.

It Can't All Be Perfect

There are times when I spend way too much time trying to write super efficient code when the brute force method works just as good and takes much less time to write. Granted, computer programs today seem to be written more and more poorly. My web browsers--FireFox and Internet Explorer-- are always crashing! New applications run slower on newer computers than their old counterparts on older computers. There is a nice middle ground between writing super lightweight efficient code and slow resource-hogging code. The key is to know where the middle ground is.

I have no magical formula to find it. A lot of it has to do with experience and intuition. In life, we don't always need perfection but, at the same time, we can't always have everything half-assed. Just from being alive, we have learned what is and isn't important in our lives. For those things that we care about, we should try to be as perfect as we can. They are important and so they deserve the extra attention. Just as we only have so much computing power to use, there is only so much time in a day. Pick and choose what is important and focus on those or we'll never get anything done.

Think By Not Thinking

Every so often, there are bugs--defects in a program--that are impossibly stubborn. I'll look over the code as carefully as I can several times and everything looks fine. I test and debug to try and locate the source of the problem and I can't find it. These problems will drive you insane, especially when you finally solve it later and find out that it was something ridiculously silly. How do these problems usually get solved? I do it by not thinking about them. As illogical as that sounds, it is probably the best way to find the answer. You just forget about it, go do something else, and all of sudden the solution will come to you. I assume my subconscious mind goes to work on it once I stop consciously thinking about it. The subconscious has the incredible ability to see details we miss.

If it is one thing we have too much of in life, it's problems. Problems from A to Z and it never seems to end. Sometimes they are small and sometimes they are not so small. Some people take small problems and make them big problems. The size of the problem is in the eye of the beholder. I take all problems and make them small problems. That way, I don't worry about them. Often, I have a problem that I don't have a good solution for so I put it aside for a while. I don't spend every waking moment focused on it. I'm aware it is there and I let my subconscious take care of it. These are generally non-urgent problems but, even the urgent ones might be best solved by making them small problems and letting your subconscious find the answer--it can work pretty fast too.

So how do we make problems seem small? Actually, we are just putting them into perspective. I read this in Whatever You Think Think The Opposite, by Paul Arden, and in one part it describes a son telling his father that he had a problem so his father asks if someone was trying to kill him. He says "no" and his father says, "Then, you don't have a problem." That is how I look at it. If no one is trying to kill me and no one is going to die, the problem isn't that big of a deal. Don't spend all your energy trying to find a solution to all your problems, you'll just go crazy from over-worrying. Relax, give it to your subconscious, and you'll be fine.

To wrap it up: you don't need to know how, you just need to know you can do accomplish things, everything can't be perfect so we should choose the important things to focus on, and our subconscious can handle a lot of our problems better than we can. Who knew such universal ideas could be found in programming?

Tommy Leung
http://www.supertommy.com

50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships

Bookstores have been full to bursting point with self-help books for relationships for years, thousands more marriage counselors seem to be setting up shop every year and of course the internet is also cluttered by a million pages about how to have a perfect relationship or marriage. So how does 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships by Oprah expert Michel Webb differ from the crowd?

Let's have a look and see:

Firstly, it is good to see that this guide is based on real life examples rather that hypothetical scenarios where the author has complete control of the events in his own mind. Michel Webb actually provides real life examples from his own life to illustrate the points and solutions he makes with a warts and all approach which is refreshing.

Secondly, Michel Webb practices what he preaches and claims to have never had a fight with his wife Athena in 15 years which is remarkable. If you doubt this which I did at first you have to read exactly how he achieved this because it is riveting stuff that comes from real experiences and practice. After reading the book I can now see how this amazing 15 year streak can definitely be possible.

Thirdly, the book itself is simply set out with about one tip per day and just continues like this until the end of the book. Just about every tip had me shaking my head in agreement, as it gave me real-life solutions and several of those "a-ha" moments of profound understanding.

Thirdly, the book is well set out which is an undervalued thing when people are reviewing books. While the content is absolutely vital poor layout and poor written communication skills can turn any book no matter how good in advice into a confused clutter. Michael Webb takes a simple approach you can use in a couple of ways by having one tip a day for the whole book. You can read it one tip at a time one day at a time or you can read it through in a single sitting but the division of advice works well by not overloading the reader and still giving great advice and many a "a-hah!" moment when a p-particular tidbit leaps out at you and strikes a chord of new understanding of relationships.

There are however a few niggles with the book that we found. It is a bit TOO formulaic in its approach which might be a side effect of their layout system. They always have a story or unrelated example, followed by how that information ties into relationships and the topic at hand.

However, if this become annoying or you are impatient to get through a long winded story you can skip down to about halfway down the section to find the point he is trying to make without going through every tiny detail.

Also, instead of the tip titles providing a clear "how to solve X problem" or a clear topic description, it simply has a phrase that ties together with the information. Now while this is no big deal, it would have been nice to be able to skim the book to exactly the advice I wanted. Although if you read the information on the sales page, you can work out what information belongs where in the book. So it's not too bad.

Another small issue is that the titles to each section do not give you a clear idea of what problem this tip and story associated with it is suppose to solve. There is a phrase that ties in with the information which you can hazard a guess from but no "This section solves or covers this problem". This makes it hard to skim for the exact solution you may be looking for but it is not too bad as you can guess from the title often.

It is definitely a better book for those who want to read from cover to cover as this seems to be it's design philosophy, but those that want to skip around will also not be left cold either.

All in all, this is one of the best relationship books I've ever seen and it definitely deserves a read, especially if you have serious problems in your relationship.

So, after all this is taken into consideration 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships deserve a read if you are interested in making your relationship better especially if you are having some serious issues that need to be sorted as this could turn things around for you quickly.

For more book reviews and links on how to create a happy and successful marriage click below to find out more!

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/marriage/relationship-tips-secrets/

Top Self Help Strategies to Beat Depression According to Scientists

A group of Australian scientists did some research to discover more than 2214 self-help strategies to beat depression. Their findings were published in the Journal of Affective Disorders in Oct 2008. After getting rid of complicated strategies that they found to be difficult to implement, the team selected a final list of helpful strategies. What were the top strategies?

The list included...

-physical activity,

-proper sleep habits and regular sleep schedule,

-doing enjoyable things,

-getting involved in activities with a purpose,

-rewards for reaching small goals,

-relaxation methods,

-talking over problems or feelings with someone supportive and caring,

-informing family and friends,

-and eating a healthy, balanced diet.

When you discover that your head is attached to your body and that you must take care of your body in order to have a healthy mind, beating depression is closer than you think. For some reason, in our modern lifestyles, we incorrectly assume that what we choose to do and consume will not affect our health. As a result, our health care systems cannot possibly provide us adequate care. Proper health care begins with each individual. Please don't sacrifice your long term health for short term comforts.

With help from your doctor, you can start making life changes today to beat your depression. Your doctor can only guide you but he/she will not cure your depression. Only you can. My own life is an example of that.

When anti depressants brought on thoughts of suicide, I did my own depression research reading through the medical journals. Then I took it to my doctor and he suggested how to implement the research safely and effectively. But, it took discipline on my part (not his) for me to implement it. Three months later, I was out of the tunnel because I diligently made the necessary lifestyle changes. You can make these simple changes too.

There is hope! You are worth it!

From suicidal to impacting the lives of others, Merri Ellen Giesbrecht shares hope for those suffering from depression. When antidepressants made her life worse, she began to research the medical journals to find the truth. What she found would not only change her life but also thousands of others in over 80 countries around the world through her website: http://www.cure-your-depression.com

It Was You, All Along - By Gary Spinell

Steps to Self Realization

Gary Spinell writes openly of his journey from low self esteem and self confidence in his book "It Was You, All Along." Gary tells how he created change and the life he desired by acquiring new beliefs and traits by learning to release positive energy.

The book demonstrates that individually we have the power to make our life become whatever we want it to be and that our world is comprised, created and built by the energy of our thoughts, words and actions.

Part I summarizes how American society and culture over the last 50 years have impacted our belief systems. The depression of the 1930s, the generation of baby boomers, women coming into the work force, and the new age of technology are all examples of this impact. Spinell discusses how impatience, discrimination, the quick fix, the concept of suing, and the lack of assuming individual responsibility are all a result of society's influence.

Part II introduces five universal laws and ten key steps that will help you discover how to create the world of your desire and your own reality. I enjoyed the format of the book which highlights significant points and tips. These short synopsis statements and a natural lead paragraph into the next chapter are helpful as they enable the reader to quickly assimilate and retain key points. Spinell challenges the reader to approach their journey with a feeling of curiosity and anticipation.

Gary uses personal examples of applying the universal laws and the dynamic forces at work in the world to create his desired reality. The eight action steps to becoming a person of high esteem were especially helpful. Gary relates his experiences in a candid yet positive approach which allows the reader to identify, empathize, and emulate Gary's success principles.
Spinell's own example demonstrates the success of his formula for inner strength and personal growth. "It Was You, All Along" is a powerful illustration of the importance of resolve, determination, and conviction. It is a practical straightforward guide for attaining success, inner peace and happiness.

978-1432720025, Outskirts Press

As Reviewed for Midwest Book Review

Richard R. Blake, Christian Education Consultant, Book Store Owner

Exercising Your Self-Efficacy

Self- efficacy is the conscious awareness of ones ability to be effective in producing a desired outcome of ones task and/or the ability to deal with life challenges. A person that is self-efficient possesses a level of self-awareness that gives them an innate ability to realize that they already possess everything he or she needs to know to not only solve their problems, but to bring their goals, needs and wants into fruition.

As in each of our lives, there are 6 life areas that complete a self-efficient individual: emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, social and intellectual. Furthermore, when we have all these areas balanced we feel happy and fulfilled. The trick becomes how do we balance these areas and meet our basic needs of belonging, power / recognition, freedom and fun. The answer is to meet these needs internally rather than externally.

Think about it for a minute. If we all possess the innate ability to solve our own problems and bring them into fruition, then why are so many of us basing our own fulfillment on the needs, wants and perceptions of others and things (external). We should not be and the reality is; we will never become self-efficient if we do.

So what will it take to become a person with self-efficacy? It takes a decision, a commitment, a strategy and action.

Your Decision- you decide what you feel is your purpose and meaning. You then make up your mind that that you will start living a life that is based on your values and belief system and not from others. For those of you who are spiritual, your foundation of beliefs can be based in the principals and doctrines of your higher power.

Your Commitment- you pledge to yourself that you will utilize all of your strength, skills, talents and resources to accomplish your decision. Take your time and make sure you are being honest with yourself about your strengths, skills, talents and resources.

Your Strategy- you figure out healthy and empowering strategies that will help you bring your decision to fruition. If you realize that, you lack important resources and skills to bring your decision to reality. Strategize how you can use the strengths, skills, talents and resources you do possess, to acquire the critical ones you are lacking.

Your Action- you take positive steps toward your decision. You are simply making movement in the intended direction. Progress is progress. It is not based on how big the growth, it is based in simply growing. If you are growing your progressing, and if you are progressing you are changing, and if you are changing, action is taking place.

If you exercise your self-efficacy, you are one step closer to authenticating your spirit.

Interested in receiving more advice on healing, wellness and personal growth? Or are you interested in booking this writer for trainings, workshops, keynote presentations or seminars? Please visit us at http://www.wcwallc.com to sign up for our newsletter or request Christian F. Johnson at a speaking engagement.

Discover How to Gain Self Confidence and Improve Yourself With Easy Methods You Can Do Right Now!

Many people don't have any idea about how to gain self confidence. All of us have our flaws in place. However, we are also useful each in our own way. Therefore, if there is anyone around you who is trying to make you feel useless, then immediately state otherwise. You need to be confident of yourself before exuding it to others.

The more you listen to others who place restrictions on your capabilities the more you start to believe in the impossibility of things. The main thing about how to gain self confidence is to believe that you can do anything you put your mind to if you want to.

Think well about yourself. Be rational about your success and don't blow your failures out of proportion. We all have our good times, and we have our bad times. A confident person will take the good times as it comes and will handle the bad times with much more ease.

If you don't take care of your self confidence you will be stuck in a never ending cycle of low self esteem and depression. Your opinion of yourself will be low at all times. You will never realize your potential. Therefore, it is important to be around people who will boost your confidence and fill your mind with positive thoughts. Stay away from discouraging or intimidating people.

The pursuit of self confidence must come from within. Unless you want to change that about yourself, no one else can. But with the right techniques and tools you can accomplish amazing results.

If you want to discover how to gain self confidence and improve yourself in other areas in your life, check out my review of some of the most effective Self Confidence Boosters available.

Read my Quantum Mind Power Review To Find out More about this powerful program. You dont want to miss out on this Amazing Secret when you can solve your problems Today!

Dr Success - A Discussion on Achieving Your Highest Success and Shifting Sands by Steve Donahue

As a society, we are trained from our earliest years to approach our lives like mountain climbers. From the time we enter school we are supposedly being taught what to pack for life's journey. By our teens, we have often laid out a detailed map and a kit of tools to our life and we are keenly aware of where our life journey is meant to go and where the summit is. Soon after starting that journey, however, we discover that life has its own paths, surprises and unexpected summits and challenges waiting for us.

The author of Shifting Sands, Steve Donahue, builds on an experience from his youth, where he and a friend seized the moment and unexpectedly drove across the Sahara Desert. Steve uses this as a life metaphor for the long journey of crossing an ever-changing desert when we "expect" to be climbing a well-planned mountain. In this book, the author shares that one evening the group had carefully planned their next step in the journey - it was completely laid out, right down to where the hills and sands and markings were. When they awoke the next morning, there had been a sandstorm and everything was different.

This becomes one of the author's core revelations: Use a compass instead of a map. Rather than following someone else's instructions and roadmap to the summit, Donahue encourages his readers to use our own inner compass and intuitive guideposts to plot our path day by day. Life is ever changing, and no amount of maps and markers can really plot our course - and if we think about it, would we even really want that?

One of Donahue's most poignant chapters is, "When You're Stuck, Deflate." When we get stuck in life, we often tend to dig in our heels (or wheels) and just try harder - the old adage, "If at first you don't succeed," ringing in our ears. But in life, like in the desert, sometimes that only bogs us deeper down into the sand. Being hell-bent to follow the map and do something the way we plan, can literally stop us in our tracks. According to Shifting Sands, sometimes we must simply stop, let go, and shift with the changing scene around us. The question thus becomes: How do I let go of my ideas and my ego and move forward?

As an executive mentor, my role is to uncover why we allow ourselves to get stuck and what we do to shift and rethink our direction and our summits. We know through positive psychology that as human beings we are sometimes stopped by our own experiences and comfort level over and over. Our ego will use this as a benchmark to allow us to feel "accomplished." We are thus compelled to repeat only what we know. By using an inner compass, you can use your own "True North" to overtake that mental goalpost and begin to create a different journey and conquer summits higher than we might have ever dreamed to set. As human beings, we like to assume we "know" how things will turn out and what steps we need to take to get there. We are gratefully reminded in Shifting Sands: A Guidebook for Crossing the Deserts of Change, that each life is an uncharted adventure to be joyously relished.

Dr. Success (aka Andrea Goeglein, Ph.D.)
http://www.ServingSuccess.com
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
(702) 243-4040

Book Review -- You Too Can Be Famous

You know the drill. You are a small business owner with a product to sell; or perhaps an unknown writer with a story to tell the world. Or maybe, for whatever reason, the only product you are selling is yourself. In any case, you have a need for lots of publicity; preferably the kind that is free or at least inexpensive to obtain.

Getting free publicity in the age of the internet and electronic journalism should be a snap, right? Wrong! Tap a few search words into Google like "press kits", "or internet marketing" and you find yourself sliding down a slippery slope into a confusing jungle of esoteric terms and offers to solve all your publicity problems for a modest fee, or perhaps a series of affordable monthly payments. It's enough to make you tear your hair out and wonder why all this information couldn't be consolidated and presented in easy to understand, layman's terms.

Enter "You Can Be Famous!" Before I discuss the contents of this handy and extremely useful book, let me make two observations. First, do not be misled by the title. It is a catchy, almost irreverent title that invokes visions of Paris Hilton's latest antics or who's going to be on Oprah next. In fact, my first thought when I read the title was the words of a colleague who told me that I didn't need to write a book to be famous. All you need to do, he said, is to expose yourself on a busy street corner and you will get all the publicity you can handle. "You Can Be Famous!" offers no such advice. It is a serious book.

My second comment is that the author, Danek S. Kaus, knows what he is talking about, and it shows in his writing. He has worked as an editor, staff reporter, freelance journalist, and ghost writer and has published hundreds of articles in newspapers, magazines, and websites. As a publicist, he has helped clients to get free publicity in such major media as USA Today, The New York Times, and CNN. As the saying goes, when it comes to the publicity business, he has been around the block of few times.

"You Can Be Famous!" is made to order for someone like me who likes to attack a new subject in an orderly fashion. In a series of concise and well written chapters, the author leads the reader through the basics, starting with the simple concepts of publicity and advertising; and ending with discussions about such journalistic intricacies as "VNRs" and "B-Rolls." The book contains plenty of sample press releases, biographies and the like for the writing-challenged among us and I especially like that each chapter ends with a review of what was covered, along with a preview of what will be discussed next. In my opinion, these are must have items for any "how to" books.

When "You Can Be Famous" arrived on my desk I was in the process of promoting a book of my own. This afforded me the opportunity to not only review it but to road test it as well. So far I have found it to be enormously helpful and I suspect others who do not have the deep pockets to fund elaborate marketing plans will be equally impressed by its usefulness.

The book promises insider secrets to getting free publicity---and it delivers. Follow the checklist and do your homework, and you'll be on your way!

Ron Standerfer is a freelance writer and photographer who is a frequent contributor to Blogger News Network. His latest novel, The Eagle's Last Flight chronicles the life of an Air Force fighter pilot during the Cold War and Vietnam years. Details of his book can be found at http://www.theeagleslastflight.com

Self Esteem and Body Image

Our self esteem has a lot to do with our body image. How much do we accept our own bodies? Are we good enough to be ...?

Are we good enough to have ...?

Are we good enough to do ...?

The answers depend entirely on our own self esteem. Although our bodies have something to do with how others treat us, the most important factor is how we view ourselves.

If we hold an image of our bodies as being messed up then we have a negative impact on our bodies as well as our self esteem.

If we think we are our bodies, then we are building esteem for the wrong self.

We build esteem for our bodies by seeing their true perfection. The first step in doing that is accepting them the way they are. They are okay the way they are.

What effect does self acceptance have on our health?

Many people believe that we have energetic blueprints for our bodies. This energetic blueprint affects the condition of our bodies. The blueprint comes first. The actual body condition comes some time later.

If you were fortunate enough to see the movie What the Bleep, you saw microscopic pictures of water after it was exposed to prayer, positive thoughts, and various negative emotions.

The results were astonishing!

The microscopic pictures of the water exposed to negative emotions and thoughts looked like a real mess. However, the pictures of the positive emotion exposed water looked like nature's works of art. They were harmonious and beautiful.

Imagine what effect emotions have on our body!

In a later scene, the main character looked into a mirror and dramatically exclaimed "I hate you". This normally beautiful woman looked quite unattractive.

Fortunately, the leading character had a realization. She started loving herself and painted loving art work all over her body. Her whole appearance changed. She looked beautiful again. She was happy. She accepted and loved herself.

Have you ever tried to fight off negativity?

You probably noticed that it was a never ending battle. We might temporarily succeed by placing ourselves inside a protective egg shell where all the bad stuff is outside. Our world can get smaller and smaller as we do that. Pretty soon there's nothing left but us in our shrinking eggshell watching Mary Poppins video.

Have you ever tried to get rid of something by resisting it?

What happened? Did it keep coming back? Could there be a better way?

Yes, fortunately there is a better way. We can observe something and accept it the way it is. This doesn't mean we mentally push it away by telling ourselves that we accept it.

Can we really accept something? Can we allow it to continue forever? If we really can, then magic happens. That something can lift off. I can't promise that you can change physical reality. But I'm not saying that you can't.

I can tell you from experience that you can change your emotional and mental experience.

By accepting your body the way it is, you change the energetic blueprint of your body. And ...

It feels good.

Copyright 2006 by Jim Kitzmiller

Jim Kitzmiller is the author of Rocket Fuel for the Soul -- Blissercise Self-Help Manual. The book's bliss exercises (blissercises) surpass usual positive thinking approaches by bypassing the logical mind. The blissercises cover 46 different areas of life.

Jim leads self-help workshops and does spiritual coaching.

Motivational Speaking - You Will Be Inspired by It

We live in busy times where we have no time for ourselves. Today, depression and tension go hand in hand with our daily lives. Many people are greatly surrounded by depression. We need some booster to help us move up in life. Motivation is providing enthusiasm. Motivational speakers are inspirational both to the one who is the speaker as well as to the listener. Motivation can uplift any depressed soul. In such circumstances we need someone to lift us up and get us motivated to return to a normal healthy life.

Listening to motivational speeches can steer our lives towards positive thinking and towards changing our lives positively. Many today take it up as a career and try to help other people to get motivated and move out of their depressed lives.

To take up motivational speaking, a person has to be really dedicated towards their career and need to aim at improving lives of people positively. Such speakers need to have the ability to improve people's lives. Motivational speakers set up workshops and seminars on particular topics or subject. Motivational speakers are in great demand in this tech world today as the world is continuously in need of emotional support.

The Role of Motivational Speakers in Business

People in business are driven by pressure and need constant motivation and support. Motivational speakers provide great impetus to business people and many others to keep cool under pressure and remain driven in their place of work. Therefore, motivational speakers contribute greatly in business. Such business people can do their work well if they are balanced and out of depression and tension. They can thus become more productive and cooperative with their work.

Motivational speakers can assist every class of person in the society. Being emotionally motivated allows people to be more focused on their work. People need motivation not because they are unable to perform effectively but because people are not adept at carrying the load of pressure and demand of their jobs. Constant work pressure and load can deplete a person's resources to remain focused and motivated. That is why motivation is so important to allow people to remain focused on the job in hand and to take charge in life. It is generally seen among many business houses, where they hire motivational speakers on a regular basis, to keep their staff and personnel focused and emotionally motivated.

Motivational speaking is the work of experts who know their job and know what needs to be done. Experts can convey the message easily on any topic. Since motivational speaking is a blurred and multifaceted subject, experts are really needed. Many companies today are deeply involved with the topic of motivational speaking in their place of work. Constant motivational speaking and motivation can help peers to cope with their work pressure.

According to the new age business management, managers and executives new with the company are given special training to provide an insight into human nature. Since such managers and executives are well versed with the human psyche they are able to give out the best in their place of work through motivational speaking

Motivational speakers have the ability to challenge your thinking and let you arrive at a different and positive platform of life. Where the need arises motivational speaking can be personalized. If a person is not able to cope with the problems of his life and solve his own lives queries he can turn to motivational speakers to help them personally. Such speaking has changed many people's lives.

A motivational speaker can prove to be a management tool to improve their place of work or work environment in a better way. Motivational speakers can really transform people's personal as well as professional life. It is imperative that we know how we react to people around us and vice versa and the effect of motivational speakers in our lives and attitude.

A good motivational speaker needs to have good presentation skills. They can convey their messages correctly and directly. Such people can provide incentives to people to remain in their work place for long. They need to have the ability to speak on any subject and therefore need to have the right amount of experience and skill. They need to be trained in such a way that they are able to talk on any topic.

Many managers are doing extremely well. But what makes them feel that they have achieved success? This is a query in the minds of most people and this is needed to be answered. Motivational speakers have the stories to give out of such successful managers. Motivational speakers can stop employees from leaving their jobs. This can help the company to retain its good and experienced work force. Motivational speakers provide and help people and give them the right direction to succeed.

Motivational speaking has made a tremendous impact on our lives in many ways. Therefore, we need to respect their contribution to society. It is regarded as a profession that has its features as being able to understand people, their way of thinking and changing their attitude in life. Therefore, motivational speakers have to be themselves very motivated people that have a high amount of energy aura to influence and steer people in the right direction.

Jason Ryan Dorsey is an acclaimed keynote speaker, bestselling author, and award-winning entrepreneur.

Known as The Gen Y Guy, Jason has been featured as a generational expert on 60 Minutes, 20/20, The Today Show, The View, and in Fortune Magazine, along with dozens of other media outlets.

Jason's high-energy keynotes, motivational speaking and in-depth seminars have impacted over 1,800 diverse audiences across the United States and as far away as Egypt, Finland, Spain, and India. The 110 events that Jason keynotes each year range from exclusive executive summits and high-profile education conferences to industry sponsored meetings. In recognition of his business achievements, Jason won the Austin Under 40 Entrepreneur of the Year Award at age 25-one of the youngest winners ever.

http://www.jasondorsey.com

Tips to Effectively Manage Stress

Life today is filled with various kinds of stresses and strains. All of us are trying to cope up with one or the other kind of stress. While most of us manage to keep our chin up and swim through our personal sea of troubles, there are those among us who simply succumb to it and fall prey to the petty issues of life.

The presence of stress and tension robs us of our natural vitality and enthusiasm for life, rendering us dull and grumpy, far reducing our levels of efficiency in all aspects of our life. If we want to start leading a truly happy life, we first need to free our mind of all that accumulated tension.
For the body to remain healthy, we first need to control our mind. A healthy mind alone gives rise to a healthy body. We will never be able to achieve our goal until and unless we learn to relax and let go of our own bondage of negativity.

What exactly is relaxation?

Relaxation is not about stopping all activity and shirking work. Quite on the contrary, it is about getting rid of all the negative energies within you, thereby optimizing your energies to get the most possible success and happiness out of your life. Relaxation is all about understanding and accepting the various challenges thrown at you, with a balanced outlook, without getting upset at the slightest provocation.

You can get your life back on track by employing various methods of relaxation, some of which are discussed in detail below:

Meditation

Meditation, which is about mental control and exercising the mind to remain still, is indeed one of the best ways to manage stress. While meditation does not help in changing life circumstances, what is does is to teach you enough mind control to tackle difficult and unexpected events in your life. This ancient relaxation technique, practically a way of life with the people of the Indian sub-continent and the whole of the Orient, is a method of focusing oneself on the 'Higher Self', thus remaining unruffled by mundane, day-to-day events of life.

Meditation is best performed in complete silence, controlling breathing patterns in a certain prescribed method.

Relaxation by way of visualization

You can effectively use projected mental images to ease your way out of mental and physical stress. Practicing visualization techniques for relaxation helps bestow tremendous peace on the mind. For instance, if you feel stressed out at work and are dying for a break, you could close your eyes and picture yourself watching a glorious waterfront sunset at some exotic destination. It will immediately relax your mind and put it to rest at least for the time being!

Progressive relaxation

With this technique, you can achieve total relaxation by consciously tensing and releasing your muscles one by one, giving your body a sense of complete ease and comfort. This technique is especially useful to tackle several types of common aches and pains.

Biofeedback

Biofeedback is a recent and much-debated technique to achieve relaxation, which requires you to observe and formally record your mind-body responses with the help of certain medical equipment. While there are many who swear by this method, there are an equal number of other experts who do not at all recommend this technique of mind control.

The above are only a handful of techniques you can employ for relaxation. Here is a word of caution. Do visit your healthcare professional before you choose any one method. There are some mental control techniques that require you to get a clean health chit from your doctor, especially if you are suffering from some medical disorder. Some techniques might actually end up changing your physiology in some way if taken to the extreme. So always be moderate in your approach and go slow and steady with your progress.

Priya Viswanathan is a Performing Artiste, an Internet Marketer and publisher of Inner Power Positive, a website that focuses on looking at positive thinking as a way of life.